Oct 12, 2010 3
On perfectionism, fear and paralysis
I’ve been on a two-month (plus) information binge. I bought e-courses. E-books. Regular books. Had conversations with colleagues. And with clients. And my mom.
I learned a LOT. During the process, I realized that there are a lot of things I know I “should” be doing … but I’m not. It’s not the first time I’ve heard about these things (like picking a niche) but I haven’t had the guts to actually do it. There’s a laundry list of items that I insist my clients should be doing, but I’m not practicing what I preach. And so, I’ve been freaking out.
To give you an idea, here’s a snippet of recent my inner dialogue:
What’s my niche? What makes me unique? Hm, I really like doing page layout. But no one prints anything anymore. Maybe e-book design…but, will people buy it? What should I even charge for that? How often should I blog? What should I blog about? Man, I need an editorial calendar. Ugh, but what topics? I also really need a new website that’s better integrated with my blog. Should I use WordPress? ExpressionEngine? No, it’ll have to be WordPress. Which theme? I like the Genesis framework, but none of the child themes really suit the look I’m going for. I’m not a big enough WordPress ninja to do massive customization. Hm. My email has not been working well lately, I think I need to change hosting companies. Wow, I just lost my entire blog. Let’s go back to the old hosting company. Phew, I recovered my blog. I really need to start my email newsletter. I’ve been saying that for almost a year. How often should I send it out? I think it should be weekly, but do I have enough to say to publish one every week? What should I call it? Should I go with Aweber? Do I just send it out to my current/former clients, or should I email them and ask first? Wow, it’s been over two months since I posted on my blog. And none of the links on my blog are working. 404s everywhere. Damn.
I don’t have any real answers, but I decided that I’m just going to start. Somewhere.
I wrote this post to break the deafening silence on my blog. I picked a new WordPress theme and I’ve been developing it locally using MAMP (which is really cool, by the way). I decided that I want to combine my love of design with writing/editing (thanks, Charlie Gilkey). I realized that two of my favorite clients have coaching backgrounds and that I might want to work with coaches. I think I am going to use Aweber for my e-newsletter and I want to start sending it out this month. You can sign up for it in the sidebar. I’d love your feedback on it once I send it out.
So, I didn’t quit. I didn’t go on vacation. I just got really nervous and completely froze. As Seth Godin teaches, I must learn to quiet the lizard brain and get over my fear of shipping.
It’s not going to be perfect, but as long as it’s just a little bit better than before, it’ll have to do.
